As you build your vocabulary, you’ll find a once elusive feeling can be named and put you in a position of power that enriches your life. If this seems overwhelming to you, know that grasping basic emotions is a good first step on how to increase emotional intelligence. The Greeks have words to describe different types of love we experience: “Storge” is the word for love for family, “eros” is romantic love, “philia” is love for a close friend, and “agape” is the love felt on a collective level where the feeling “we are all one” exists. We’ve had to borrow the German word “Schadenfreude” to capture the true meaning accurately. What struck me most when reading the book is that the English language lacks words to describe several emotions.įor instance, there is no English word to describe the experience of joy and pleasure we feel at the failures and misfortunes of others. In her new book “Atlas of the Heart,” Brown explores eighty-seven of the emotions and experiences that define what it means to be human. Some studies reveal that there are 27 emotions, while others say that there are around 34,000! It begins with self-awareness and asking ourselves the simple question: how am I feeling now?īy doing this, we must go beyond the “mad, glad, sad,” triad, as author and researcher Brené Brown likes to call it.Īccording to Brown, most of us can name only those three because we didn’t learn about the different shades of emotions. Having the right words to describe and name what we feel puts us in a stronger position to understand and process it. It’s counter-intuitive to think that facing them head-on can liberate us.Įmotional fluency is the bedrock of emotional intelligence. The more unpleasant the emotion, the more they try to avoid it. If the path to figuring it out is relatively smooth and doesn’t cause too much damage or loss, we can consider ourselves one of the lucky few.įor the most part, people suppress, bury, or numb their feelings. ![]() Most people are ill-equipped and lack sufficient knowledge.īecoming “smart” emotionally means learning through experience and trial and error. Emotional intelligence is seldom taught in school, and our culture isn’t designed to make us smarter in this aspect. Unfortunately, we’re not educated about our emotions. Humans are inherently sentimental beings. Gaining emotional fluency: understand the language of emotions When you understand how you handle problems and joys, you become a better communicator, a stronger leader, an empathetic friend and partner, and generally happier.Įveryone handles emotions differently, but anyone can learn how to increase emotional intelligence and benefit from it with the right knowledge and tools. Psychologists and social scientists far and wide now agree that emotional intelligence is a superpower. Mayer of UNH and Peter Salovey of Yale, it gained popularity after the release of the 1995 best-selling book “ Emotional Intelligence,” authored by science journalist Daniel Goleman. It wasn’t until the second half of the 1900s that our assessment of intelligence began to shift.Īlthough the term “Emotional Intelligence” was first coined in 1990 by psychology professors John D. ![]() The formal definition of emotional intelligence is “the ability to perceive, control and evaluate emotions.” In other words, it’s knowing how to deal with our feelings, good or bad, at any given moment and interpreting events in ways that strengthen and bolster us.įor many years, intelligence was seen as one-dimensional - cognitive intelligence (IQ) was the only metric used to gauge people’s capabilities and potential. In our era of uncertainty, ambiguity, and general unrest, it’s a must. We hear it in almost every field, from social sciences to leadership.īut emotional intelligence is not just some nice-to-have trait - it’s essential for our general wellbeing. “The emotional brain responds to an event more quickly than the thinking brain.” - Daniel GolemanĮmotional intelligence, or EQ, has become a buzzword. Find out how to increase your emotional intelligence to experience more joy, peace, and satisfaction with these ideas. Although different types of people handle emotions differently, anyone can learn how to increase emotional intelligence with the right knowledge and tools. Emotional intelligence (EQ) is defined as “the ability to perceive, control and evaluate emotions.” EQ is not just some nice-to-have trait - it’s essential for our general wellbeing.
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